It’s been months now that I’ve been stuck in this weird limbo space. Possibilities for big changes in my and my family’s lives are hanging in the air around me. And in case I haven’t mentioned it before, I don’t do great with change. It unsettles me to a greater degree than I can make sense of rationally.
And today, though I tried hard to talk myself through my fears, I finally lost the battle. The uncertainty caught up to me and stripped me and I broke down to God.
How long O Lord, till I know if the worst is coming? If my fears are coming true?
A peace fell over me and it was like I could feel Him holding my hand. And in my heart I “heard” or understood that He had never let go of my hand. In all of my anxiousness about what might happen and the dry desert of uncertainty I’ve been walking, He has never let go.
And somehow, that was reassurance enough.
Are you afraid of anything? Waiting on God for an answer? Pour out your fears and your grief to Him today and ask Him to meet you in it, too. He is near. He has never looked away, never forgotten you, never dropped your hand!
This verse meant a lot to me this week. Though I’ve read it a hundred times before it finally struck a chord in my heart.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.
Psalms 18:2 NLT